just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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