the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize