his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
