Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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