You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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