Whod you bang
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
