I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i think i have herpe
just one?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We got so high we made milksteak
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
