i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
did i just pee glitter
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
