Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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