i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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