I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
