Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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