she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
