he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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