Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
did you just send me my own nude
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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