My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
