he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way