sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
