I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
