I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
