I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
