Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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