We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
