your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
