So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize