i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
