is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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