i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Lo siento on account of my penis...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
