hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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