as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we're so committed to being not committed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
