worst night to have a conscience
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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