I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
