So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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