So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
