i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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