u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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