you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
