its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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