Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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