when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
