i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
