she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
