He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
whose parrot is this?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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