yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
