I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
