He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
