i'm lost and i look like a hooker
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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