i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
