she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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