I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
