Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
