You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize