i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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