its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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