you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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