if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
