omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
