***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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