DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
