Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
