My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
