sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
