We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
