Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm getting married
To pizza
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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