Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
