i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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