Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
