i just wanna soil my oats bro
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
