Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
